Anxiety

Anxiety- we all have it.  It’s part of being a human being. It’s not whether or not we “have” anxiety, it’s how we allow it to move through us, eventually towards an inner balance. Do we stay "stuck" in stress and anxiety, living our lives through a filter of tension? Or do we allow it to pass through the experience, find the source or the issue, and acknowledge whatever it has to show us? Then we can consciously own that knowledge and choose to move on to a better feeling place. Or, we can push it down in a state of fear and stay "stuck." What the anxiety telling us about a situation, or about the way we perceive our experience? Often it is perpetuated by our emotional programs or patterns.  These patterns come up when we are faced with life’s events and challenges, and can often be unsconcious responses. They have been our coping mechanisms, and the way we have dealt with these feelings in the past. Our feelings and beliefs feel very real, and our bodies and brains react as if they are. So anxiety can come from an actual life event, or simply from our thoughts.

When feelings are held in, covered up or denied, they eventually show up in other ways, including anxiety, misdirected anger or emotions towards others and/or ourselves, and physical illness. When we do not understand where a feeling is coming from, or it makes us uncomfortable, the tendency is to blame ourselves or others. This can create a whirlwind of negative, spiral, thinking, and ultimately, anxiety. Although everyone experiences anxiety, some people experience consistent, higher levels that can be overwhelming, which stems from spiraling, negative thinking. Thinking patterns can change, which then influences our emotional state of mind. However, when the thinking patterns do not change, we continue our patterns.

So, what is the answer?  The first step is self-awareness. If you can be open to looking at your thinking, you are making a very important stride towards change. Look at the ongoing self-talk. What does yours sound like?  Can you tell a different story? It would not be helpful to say something you don't believe, or to lie about what you feel, but can think in a slightly less negative way? If you do, you can continue to move up the scale to better feeling thoughts. Doing this can b a powerful tool for recognizing that you are empowered to change how you feel. 

We start this process when we are aware of our inner dialogue.  When we are aware of our automatic response to a situation, we have made the first step! Although this could lead to you being critical of yourself, instead see it as the necessary first step to change. You can see that these thoughts are just old programs  and noticing they exist is essential for change. They have been around a long time and it is not logical that they would be gone overnight and may even feel more natural, even comfortable to you. This is  because of the momentum built up over years of use.  We do not expect to be in perfect shape after one or two workouts at the gym, and at first we may be sore and uncomfortable. However, the more we make working out part of our every day life, the easier and more natural it becomes. The same goes for building new pathways in the brain, and whether you practice the less critical, positive thinking, or otherwise. Whatever you practice grows stronger. We have control over this, although once that practice, and muscle, or pathway in our brain gets stronger, it can feel as if it we don't. But we do.

We get to decide what we believe about ourselves, but it may feel uncomfortable at first. If you are aware of your thoughts, you can decide what you want to think, and therefore which programs are running in your mind.  

It is important to remember, not to be angry if you fall into an old thought pattern, especially as you’re learning new ones. Just realize it’s all part of the process and the fact that you are aware of it makes you way ahead of the game!

This is an example of a possible stream of negative self-talk: 

• “They didn’t even look my way.  No one cares about me or about what I think or say.”

This type of inner dialogue would most likely increase anxiety/depressive feelings, as well as build negative momentum in thinking patterns, which makes negative self-talk feel like a more natural “go-to” for self-dialogue.


EXAMPLES OF NEGATIVE TO NEUTRAL THOUGHTS:
These are examples of slightly less negative patterns of self-talk, but something that is believable. If put into regular practice it can become a progressive movement in a better feeling direction. As this happens, the momentum picks up and it begins to feel more natural. An example with the same situation, could sound something like this:
 

• “They did not say anything to me, but they are wrapped up in their own thing and I don’t need to know why.  I can focus on what feels right for me and worry less about others and what they think.”   

or  

• “Not everyone needs to agree with or like me, and I don’t need to worry about that.  I can have my thoughts, and others can have theirs.”

or

• “I can focus on what feel right to me and think less about what others think about me”

Once you get in the hang of speaking more open ended and positive thoughts, you can increase your levels of positive feelings about yourself, which will create more flow and ease in your new patterns of thinking. A belief is just a thought that you keep thinking, so be aware of what you choose to think, and know you can feel more and more empowered. Start where you are and be good to yourself!